Because a Monkey Needs Meat
by pyxislynx
Summary: Luffy/Nami. Of all the things and animals he could've said, why THAT? ONE-SHOT


Acad life's killing my time. muh... anyways, a short luffyXnami fic, pre-water7 (sorry franky and brooke fans, they're not here...)

enjoy!

**pyxislynx**

disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. Eiichiro Oda does.

* * *

**Because a Monkey Needs Meat**

Nami stretched her legs on the wooden floor. After her patience had run out earlier, she decided to cool down under the shade of her orange trees.

"That simpleton!"

ooooo

The mugiwara pirates were having another normal breakfast at the Going Merry's lounge room. Normal, in the sense that Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper were fighting for more servings, with Sanji shouting at them and serving glasses of wine with sweet compliments to Robin and Nami (who tried, with a lot of effort, to keep cool and not beat the hell out of the four), and Zoro laughing at the three fighting pirates and squabbling chef as he chugged down a mug of beer.

Yes, everything was normal-- until Luffy stood up straight and pointed to himself.

"A monkey defeats an armadillo and a reindeer!" he declared. "Therefore, I get all the meat!"  
"What!" Usopp and Chopper shouted.  
"How could I be an armadillo?!" Usopp complained.  
"You hide from enemies." Luffy said simply. Usopp slammed his hand on the table.  
"And how does a monkey like you defeat an armadillo?!"  
"And a reindeer!" Chopper demanded, banging his spoon and fork on the table.  
"I ate the Gomu Gomu fruit. I'm stronger than you two. I'm the captain of this ship."

Luffy answered, crossing his arms infront of his chest.

"We're asking about a monkey!!" Usopp and Chopper hollered.

Zoro laughed at the three's senseless argument, which caught the attention of the three.

"Shark!" the three shouted at him, which made Zoro choke on his mug of beer.  
"Marimo!" Usopp added.  
"You!" Zoro started, getting up.  
"You four!" Sanji shouted at them angrily. "You're messing up breakfast!"  
"Duck!!" the four guys shouted back at Sanji, who felt even more annoyed.  
"This marimo here," Sanji pointed at Zoro. "Is a shark, while I'm just a duck?!"  
"Yeah!" Chopper shrilled aggressively. "And Robin is a flower!"  
"Hey, why isn't she an animal?!" Zoro shouted.  
"Don't push it!" Sanji yelled at the swordsman.

Robin grinned at the small reindeer, which made Chopper cower behind Usopp.

"Yeah!" Luffy agreed with Chopper, one arm on hip and the other pointing to Robin. "Robin is a flower, and Nami--"  
"And Nami-san is a WHAT?!" Sanji threatened Luffy.  
"Nami is MEAT!"

The navigator's fork fell. Sanji shouted at Luffy at calling his Nami-san a cooked food instead of an orange or a cat. Meanwhile, Nami's patience was wearing out. It wasn't enough that they would be exceptionally noisy that breakfast. He had called everyone an animal, and Robin a flower, and now she's just meat. Just. Meat.

"Luffy." the navigator said quietly, obvious that she's been keeping the last strand of her patience in place. "Tell me, WHY am I MEAT?"

The rest of the crew sensed the navigator's anger and stayed put, afraid that she'd go ballistic at any noise from them. Luffy stared back at Nami with his well-known blank stare.

"Meat is--" Luffy started. Then gulped. "Meat is food!"

Nami massaged her temples. She got up from her chair and left the rest of the crew in the lounge room staring at her back then at their captain.

ooooo

Nami massaged her temple once more. It was taking toll on her again. The one she dreaded ever since she met him. The one she tried to squash and forget forever. The one she herself couldn't believe she could be feeling. And to that simpleton monkey, to boot.

"Idiot..."

Really. How could he call everyone an animal, Robin a flower, and then her, a meat? A butchered animal's flesh, cooked! It's not that she wanted to be called any animal (and based on her nakama's animal counterparts, she'd rather not be), but to be called meat, something utterly different from her other nakama, and most especially different from Robin, was... plain... painful.

There. She admitted it. It WAS disappointing. And painful.

Nami's fingers twitched as she heard something. She glanced at her right, then immediately looked at her left.

"Nami."

The navigator stood up from her seat and dusted her skirt.

"Nami I--"  
"You don't have to explain anything." Nami said, annoyed, her back away from the captain. "Really..."

Nami started walking away, half wanting to punch Luffy, half wanting to let him explain. In the end her anger (not to mention, drat, jealousy) won, and she continued walking away, fuming.

"I LIKE MEAT!"

Nami stopped in her tracks.

"I like meat. A lot. I can't live without meat. Meat is everywhere, but I can't meat. Sanji is always in the way. Without meat, I feel tired... and... and bored, and I can't think."

The navigator turned to her back and stared at her captain, bewildered. Whatever Luffy was explaining, it was plain stupid to her. Him, not able to "think" without meat? Yet, something in her mind made her feel somewhat... giddy. And nervous.

"Luffy--"  
"I love meat." Luffy interrupted, walking to Nami cautiously. "Nami is meat. Monkey likes meat--"  
"Luffy," Nami said, backing away, getting nervous. "Monkeys are mostly herbivores..."  
"Monkey likes meat. Monkey will fight duck for meat. Monkey... Monkey can't live without meat. So, if Nami is meat, and monkey likes meat, and monkey is me, and meat makes monkey--"  
"Luffy!" Nami shouted, alarmed that she had been cornered into her orange trees, and at the confusion Luffy was going into. "What are you getting at?!"

To Nami's surprise, her captain, who looked as if he was struggling with his own stupidity the whole time, turned deep red. It was then that it dawned upon the navigator. Her captain didn't know what it was exactly, and he didn't know how to react well on it. Luffy was struggling to express it, while Nami struggled the whole time to forget it.

Luffy clenched his fist, then looked up at Nami, who cringed at the look on his face. Nami figured she shouldn't laugh. They were, afterall, in a serious moment.

"Nami..."

Nami bit her lip. She could barely keep up an angry face. Her whole body was shaking with suppressed laughter. Luffy looked as if he was constipating, and it was more than enough that he was looking like this while actually trying to confess to her. Not to mention he had bruises on his face, most probably from Sanji's foot.

"Nami... meat... I... monkey... like... Nami I--"

To Luffy's surprise-- and indignation-- Nami burst out laughing, clutching her stomach. Luffy stared at her as she continued to laugh, her orange trees shaking as she held on to them for support. Luffy crossed his arms as he continued to watch Nami almost drop to the ground in her laughter. When Nami had finally calmed down, she straightened herself up and looked at Luffy, who was pouting. Nami burst out laughing once more, which started to annoy a frustrated Luffy a lot.

"Nami! Oi, Nami, listen to me--"

Luffy stared back at Nami questioningly, as Nami had stopped him talking with her fingers on his lips.

"Ne, Luffy,"  
"Myeh?"

Nami walked away to the stairs leading down to the lounge room. Luffy stared at her as she paused at the top landing.

"Do you really love meat?"  
"Yeah."

Nami smiled to herself.

"Even if it costs you millions of belli?"  
"Yeah."  
"Even if it costs you billions of belli?"  
"Yeah!"

Nami looked at Luffy, who looked quite nervous and clueless at the same time, which made Nami giggle.

"Luffy,"  
"Y-yeah?"  
"Promise me one thing."  
"W-what?"  
"Don't eat me."


End file.
